Letter to the Lovers
One of the most beautiful experiences that we can live is to love and to be loved. Everything is made of two and for two. The day and the night; cold and heat; the man and the woman, or the ying and the yang. That does not mean that we are half of nothing: we are not the half orange, the half lemon or the half strawberry of nobody. We are individuals who, when we relate to others (partners, friends, or relatives), seek to enhance our qualities and learn from our mistakes, which is characteristic of coexistence and social relationships.
We are all beings of love, we came to give and receive love. We were created - if not out of love - by passion, desire or illusion. In any case, I am convinced that in many ways we have all received love. However, we often forget to love the basics, being more important: ourselves. By this Valentine's Day, many people suffer from not having a partner, not celebrating with friends or having their families away. At that very moment, a Grinch is born. He or she does not want to celebrate anything, because he has not learned to celebrate the moments of life with themself.
We forget that to whom we must give a first gift and wish a happy Valentine's Day is ourselves. There is nothing better than self-love, there is nothing that gives us more security and happiness than loving ourselves, and there is no better company than we can give ourselves. Once we have learned this, we will be able to give love, to give moments of joy and to transmit peace and stability. So, do not confuse loneliness (or the moment dedicated only to you) with the uncontrollable desires of being with someone.
It is important to note that we must be very selective with the people to whom we give our love. We must value what we give, the time we dedicate, our past experiences and our illusions. Whenever we have that clear, we will be able to select who we can give our love and our most sacred history. Not everyone around us deserves, values or needs our love.
The word forgiveness is also very common at this time. We take the opportunity to apologize to our partner, our friends or family. Forgiveness cannot become the favorite word to justify behaviors that offend who we want. We must be very responsible with our words and our way of acting with others, to avoid falling into an empty and meaningless "pardon".
But the word forgiveness also applies to other scenarios. Those who are starting a relationship, for example, should know that this word is the key to their sentimental success. It is important to ask: Have I forgiven who hurt me? Have I forgiven myself? Have I forgiven my past? Am I willing to forgive again? Have I learned that resentment serves no purpose? Am I aware that the mistakes of the past should not affect my next relationship or my relationship with my friends and family?
Another typical phrase we often hear about women is "all men are the same," and at the same time we hear men say "all women are the same." There is no worse harm to a relationship than thinking that we are all the same. We certainly have similar patterns of behavior, but that does not make us the same. I cannot imagine my husband comparing me to an earlier relationship, or I do not see myself telling my husband that he is the same as the boyfriend I had when I started college. If we chose it was because we saw something that others "in the market" did not have and that already makes us different.
Valentine is cause for joy for many, and bitterness for others. In any case, the importance of preserving and having inner peace should be emphasized. Spiritual growth invites us to seek what makes us happy, to surround ourselves with the people who truly give us fullness and to distance ourselves from those who steal our energy.
Perfection, in this spiritual way, is what most mortifies us. We do not seek to be perfect, we do not seek the perfect man or woman, there is no ideal friend, and our families are not the ones that appear on television. So let us enjoy being imperfect and love those we truly love from their defects, not from the qualities that any other person can also love.
To thank for people we have is the best way to celebrate this day. To thank for your imperfections, for accepting us as imperfect beings, for they exist and because we are not alone. To thank because every day we learn that we should not take care of the expectations or frustrations of others. We must take charge of our dreams and be better for ourselves and for others.
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