Arts & EventsMy Oh My, Girls Night Online

My Oh My, Girls Night Online

My Oh My, Girls Night Online

Finding love is hard and I am sure I am not the only one finding it difficult! We all have our vision of our dream man, but from time to time I am awakened with the realization that my vision may be a bit unrealistic.

Being candid with your expectations is one step, but assessing what your eligibility pool of single men looks like is a step that requires you to put yourself outside of your comfort zone.

In this case, online dating may be my only option in this frigid climate.

I know some of you may have negative thoughts about online dating. Where you believe that everyone is lying behind a screen, online dating is for the desperate or as far as thinking all online relationships are doomed. If that’s the case, you’re going to be single forever. Good luck!

Oh for sure, all of you know someone who knows someone, who found love online and now are happily married. However, I can guarantee you that someone who knows someone, did not tell you about details, trials and tribulations of what they had to go through online to find that wonderful gem of theirs!

MY OH MY Girls Night Online - Image 1(Photo Source - Science of Relationships)
Photo Credit: Science of Relationships

Here are a few things to think about:

  • Paid sites are more successful;
  • Get a sense of comfort before you agree to meet up with someone for the first time;
  • Broaden your horizons. Consider traveling to other cities for the first meet up, but of course inform friends and family of your whereabouts;
  • The profile picture is very important; make sure it highlights you at your best;
  • DO NOT conduct the first date as a structured interview. Have fun, let it flow;
  • Chances are your first date will not be successful; you’ve got to weed out the frogs before you get your Prince Charming;
  • Be realistic! You’re online match is probably chatting with a few other women, which is fine. Establish a foundation with him first, then see whether or not he’s ready to commit; and
  • Last but not least, remember that you have the power! Learn to invest in yourselves and unplug the negative experiences before you get a power surge and shut down.

I have been lucky to get advice from a diverse group of men, one Arab guy, a Caucasian man and three black men all ranged from ages 30 to 41. Some of them had children, while others did not. Some were previously married, while others were actively dating. All in all, they were a dynamic group indeed, ready and willing to chat with me.

Woman excited with laptop
Photo Credit: Dateless to Dating

This is what I learnt from my conversation with these men:

  • When online dating, DO NOT wait three months to meet. Meet up immediately, chances are he’s talking to other women and will move on if you take so long;
  • Avoid dinner dates on the onset. It was suggested to go for coffee or drinks on the first couple of dates;
  • DO NOT over think your responses. Deleting and editing messages before sending takes away from your authentic self. So much so that when you meet face to face, he may not recognize your thought process;
  • Relax, and be realistic with your expectations. Get to know the man before setting out your expectations. He may run away and think you’re crazy;
  • Be open to conversation, make eye contact and smile;
  • Most men like women who make the first approach. Don’t be overly forward but a simple hello opens the door to conversation;
  • Men now are weary of making the first move. So they will patiently wait for you to give them the cue that you are open to chat;
  • Men like women who have realistic goals and ambitions. They want to see you passionate about something, striving hard to get something achieved; and
  • Last but not least, men like women who have their own agenda, and schedule. They do not want to feel the pressure that they have to communicate with you at a certain time or the pressure that they have to entertain you all the time.

So my fellow readers, put yourself out there and make a conscious effort of finding your Prince Charming!

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