Why kids are mean and what to do about it

 QUESTION Dear Adele How do you best guide your offspring when you know they aren’t being nice to other kids? Disheartened ANSWER Dear Disheartened, Children can be very mean to each other in many ways. “Insults, exclusion, gossip, ignoring, taunting, hitting, kicking, and shoving” make the list, according to Psychology

Empathy and your child

 QUESTION Dear Adele, How do we stop putting our own feelings onto our kids? When my 14-year-old son is left out and feels he has no friends, I feel heartbroken. I know that’s my own stuff. I want to help him but not put my own feelings onto him. Ideas,

Gift giving and grandparents at Christmas

 QUESTION Dear Adele, Christmas is fast approaching and I’m scratching my head trying to think of appropriate gifts for the parents of my husband and myself. Both sets of grandparents are in the fortunate position of needing nothing. Anything they want they are able to buy for themselves. What ideas

Honour veterans by helping children understand and remember

 QUESTION Dear Adele, Remembrance Day is fast upon us. What kinds of things do you think are appropriate for us to do with our children for November 11, ‘Lest We Forget’? Reflectors ANSWER Dear Reflectors, Most of our generation have been lucky enough to have never gone to war. None

Why children should help out at home

 QUESTION Dear Adele, I have been a parental observer for some years now, in the role of a grandmother. For the most part, my daughter and her husband are doing a good job, in my opinion. However, I note that the children do very little to be helpful. They seem

Can you be your child’s friend?

 QUESTION Dear Adele, My husband was raised with rather strict parents who were not much fun to be around. Now that we have our own children, he tries very hard not to follow in his parent’s footsteps. Sometimes I think he is too friendly, too permissive, and shares to much

Should unvaccinated guests be invited to teenager’s gatherings?

 QUESTION Dear Adele Our daughter is turning 16 soon and we are planning a small ‘Sweet-16’ party to celebrate. One of her close friends is not vaccinated and we prefer she not attend. How should we handle this sensitive challenge so as not to destroy the friendship and good feelings

The benefits of outdoor play for kids

 QUESTION Dear Adele, I recently read that the average child spends seven hours per day behind a screen. I certainly don’t want my school-aged children to grow up with such a sedentary lifestyle. What do you think are the benefits of activity and outdoor play for kids? How can I

Parental placement preferences for elementary school children

 QUESTION Dear Adele, The school year has just begun. My eight-year-old son returned home from school on the first day to report that he was in a split grade, and had no friends in his class from last year. We are worried about the split grade concept and feel badly

How children and grandchildren push our buttons

 QUESTION Dear Adele, Our grandchildren have become great button pushers! They seem to know exactly what to do to get their way with their parents. Sometimes they beg, sometimes they yell, sometimes they pout! I cannot tell you how annoying it is to see them get their way, with some

Back-to-school tips for parents

 QUESTION Dear Adele, The back-to-school season is upon us! Every year I worry about the start of school for my children and try to anticipate all the things that might be anxiety producing for them. I know you had a career as a teacher and wonder if you have any

Your child is heading off to college leaving you with an empty nest

 QUESTION Dear Adele, Our son has successfully graduated from high school and been accepted in the program of his choice at an out-of-town university. While I am proud of him and want only the best for him, I am feeling a pain in my heart thinking about him not being

The Challenge of Parenting Twins

 QUESTION Dear Adele, My husband and I have been involved in fertility treatments for several years. We are very excited at this time, because we have just found out we are expecting twins. People tell us twins are a monumental challenge. We have not had a lot of experience around

Putting the brakes on the bickering

 QUESTION Dear Adele, We need some help. Our three school-age children are constantly squabbling and bickering about everything.” He’s looking at me!” says one. “She’s breathing on me!” retorts the other. And then the exchange of verbal assaults ensues with one of us parents sometimes raising our voices to tell

The gift of time just might be the best Father’s Day gift

 QUESTION Dear Adele, Father’s Day is fast approaching and we are running short on inexpensive gift ideas. We have a school-age child and a teenager. Any tips? Wife of a Great Father ANSWER Dear Wife of a Great Father, Father’s Day is celebrated in Canada on the third Sunday in

Win the war on whining and create a peaceful, cooperative family

 QUESTION Dear Adele, Our two young children are driving us bonkers with whining. We need to bolster the troops to win the war on whining. Whether it’s the battle about bedtime, the demand for more chocolate brownies, or the desire to watch just one more television show, the children whine.

Scuttling the sass and buttoning up the backtalk

 QUESTION Dear Adele, Our six-year-old has recently become quite sassy! When things don’t go his way and we have to speak to him, he seems to come back at us with a proliferation of backtalk. We believe in respectful communication and need some ideas on how to end this. Help

How much screen time is reasonable for children?

 QUESTION Dear Adele, We are parents of young children and seek advice concerning what is a reasonable amount of screen time for kids. We see many of our friends and relatives allowing their children to spend copious hours a day in front of screens? We sometimes wonder what has happened

Navigating the conversation about divorce with the kids

 QUESTION Dear Adele, My husband and I have finally come to a decision to separate and divorce. We both love our children dearly but need advice on the best way to tell them about the split. In the end, we think it will be better for them as it will

Helping your child deal with feelings and emotions

 QUESTION Dear Adele, Our young children do not seem to always deal well with their emotions and feelings. Like all of us adults, they take their turn at being angry, anxious, frustrated, embarrassed, jealous, happy, sad and so on. Knowing what they are feeling and then dealing with those feelings

Should schools be teaching students about sex trafficking in Canada?

 QUESTION Dear Adele, Our teenager recently came home from school and told us she had been involved in a class discussion about sex trafficking in Canada. We understand the need for sound sex education but were surprised and taken aback that this topic was being taught in our local high

What can parents do when grandparents play favourites

 QUESTION Dear Adele, Our children have overall, wonderful grandparents who love them dearly. We are sincerely grateful for this. However, one grandmother seems to favour one of our children more than the others. Her gifts for him are just a little bit nicer, her attendance at his sporting events is

Heart to Heart with Adele: Online predators and your kids!

 Question: Dear Adele. Our family is cooped up in quarantine due to the Covid-19 pandemic. While the world is in disarray and frantically trying to stop the spread of the virus, my husband and I are barely coping with our three crazy-making kids, at home. We are also frantically trying

Heart to Heart: When your graduate has “zero” direction

 QUESTION Dear Adele, My son is in grade 11 and has zero idea about what he wants to do after high school. I am having a mild panic attack trying to help him choose his courses for grade 12. Everyone else’s boy or girl seems to have it all laid

Heart to Heart with Adele: Checkups for children’s mental health

 Question Dear Adele, My former husband is telling me our school age daughter is experiencing a mental health issue and that she wants to talk to a counsellor. I am unsure about how to handle this, as she has not expressed that desire to me. I do not want to